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Have you ever had a secret so big that you burried it for 20 years? I have, and I absolutely dread telling it to anyone again, bc I know I’ll be judged even worse than before.

This is why I talk in dribble to everyone. I’d rather say anything than reveal who I really am.

The reason why I’m so scared to come clean is bc I don’t live up to my calling. I’ve grown comfortable in this non-confrontational reality.

I love people; I love fitting in, I love hidding in the background, and taking zero responsibility.

I don’t want this peace to end; but I know eventually my time is up, and it’s for the better I’ll be forced to show you my face, and point you to his.

The last couple times I followed my heart against the stream I crashed. Although my life was extended each time, and I got a much better one after that, (the one I’m living in now.) I don’t want to let go of my ego, only to repeat that painful process again.

I would do anything not to drink from this square cup on my head, with my name, and his name on it.

It’s not God I’m scared to face. God knows my heart, and my face.

It’s the Devil, and people I deeply care about who are gonna judge me. When I finally stop playing games, and speak up foreal.

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